“What is a bite on the butt amongst friends?”
by MBFC
Summary: Fanfic Challenge No.4 → Pointed Swords Forum: Use the quote: “What is a bite on the butt amongst friends?”. Summary: Gawain is send scouting with Tristan by Arthur.


**Fanfic Challenge No.4 → Pointed Swords.**

**Author:** MBFC

**Summary:** Gawain is send scouting with Tristan by Arthur.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Feedback:** desired as long as you don't make my day miserable.

**Betas:** WiteringSage

**Characters:** Tristan and Gawain

**Warnings:** Characters might act out of Character just a little bit. It's not supposed to be a realistic picture of the dark ages or the King Arthur movie. It's just a thought which stuck to me and I decided to have a little fun with. After reading the challenge the plot bunnies just kept popping up.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own the King Arthur characters, movie or legend. I'm not making money by writing this.

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"Speech" / _Thoughts

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"**What is a bite on the butt amongst friends?" **

Gawain groaned loudly as he shifted on his horse again. They had been riding for two days in a row. He was cold, wet and it was possible that some of his body parts were freezing. _Why on earth did I volunteer to go scouting with Tristan? _Today was like any other day in Gawain's memory. At this moment it was raining, which later on the day would turn into snow. With any luck they would have to head back because it would become too foggy. Gawain hated the weather of this wretched island with a great passion.

Tristan looked back at the younger knight and smirked, he knew how much Gawain hated being cold, wet and freezing. Tristan didn't mind it that much, he loved the way his body would start to tingle all over when he got to point of being cold. Nevertheless, hunting with frozen limbs would be difficult, especially upon threat of being attacked.

"Let find some shelter and make a campfire." Tristan hoped he could catch something to roast over the campfire.

If Tristan's memory served him right there should be some rock formations in this part of the forest. The knights found an overhang which was well hidden by shrubbery from any onlookers. Gawain was responsible to make the campsite whilst Tristan would go hunting for their dinner.

Gawain made himself as comfortable as was possible on the rocky underground. He could have sworn that there was something wrong with this place. Every time he thought he spotted some rock-free area, he would sit down, and yet rocks would seem to miraculously appear just as his backside touched the ground.

A shiver made its way down Gawain's back as he suddenly remembered Lancelot's story about going scouting with Tristan. The last person to join Tristan scouting had been Lancelot. Most of the 30 knights from the fortress had been out scouting with Tristan at one point. At Arthur's command, most of the 30 knights from the fortress had taken a scouting trip with Tristan at some point, including Arthur himself. But when those knights had come back to the fortress they began to keep their distance from Tristan.

Lancelot had claimed that he and Tristan had stopped for the evening at some rocky overhang in some dingy forest. Just like now, Lancelot had been responsible for the campsite and campfire. Lancelot had claimed that he had started to feel rather uncomfortable and it hadn't been because of the rocky bottom. As Lancelot had managed to get the fire going the light had revealed several skulls lying under the overhang. Gawain was sure something more had happened that evening but Lancelot would not tell him or Galahad anything else. He had said they had been too young for the information. Lancelot had gotten a serious expression on his face after Galahad had snorted.

"You remember that my tribe…" Lancelot had pointed towards Lamorak, Kay and Bedivere, "sacrifice goats and drink their blood in order to dance naked around our fires?"

Gawain and Galahad had nodded wordlessly.

"Well Tristan's tribe does something even more horrible." And with that Lancelot left the two youngest knights open mouthed. Somehow Gawain feared that he was about to find out what that horrible thing was.

Gawain sat against the stone wall and couldn't seem to keep his thoughts calm. It didn't help one bit that his heart was thundering in his ears as if he were some young innocent virgin ready to be claimed. Even thought Tristan was scary and mysterious, Gawain tried to reassure himself that he would not harm another knight. But then again, Tristan had a clear fascination for dark and evil things. _This doesn't help at all._

Gawain jumped up rather swiftly and bumped his head on the overhang. "Bloody hell!" Gawain exclaimed and grabbed his head which was now thundering even more.

"Gawain?" Gawain jumped again as he heard Tristan's voice out of nowhere. "What are you doing?"

Gawain gave up and sat back down, not surprisingly on another rock. Tristan just sat down near the campfire looking at Gawain with an impassive face. After making sure Gawain was alright he took out his sword and started to sharpen it.

"Weren't you supposed to bring something for dinner?" Gawain was still rubbing his head, glad that it wasn't injured.

"Couldn't find any." Gawain was unaware that this was all part of Tristan's plan.

"Good thing I ate before leaving with you." Gawain tried to lighten the situation up a bit, but he wasn't feeling any more cheerful.

Tristan put his sword away and grabbed his saddlebag. He took out two apples and threw one of them towards Gawain.

"Where do you keep getting all these fresh apples?" No matter what the season was you could always count on Tristan having fresh apples. Tristan shrugged his shoulders not willing to share this vital information with Gawain.

"And why do you insist on cutting them into tiny slices?" Gawain took a big bite from his apple.

"Well, you should try it someday. You might get a taste for it." Tristan suggested to Gawain after slicing another piece of the sweet fruit.

Gawain didn't know what to do with such an answer and choose to just shut up. This was exactly what Tristan had been hoping for. The boy talked too much in his opinion. None the less he was his brother just like all of the other knights. The family he never had nor will ever have again.

"So who takes first watch?" Gawain tossed what was left of the apple into the shrubbery.

"You." Tristan closed his cloak around him and decided to get some sleep.

Gawain watched with his mouth open as Tristan pointed to him and fell asleep leaving no room for argument. Gawain was happy with the arrangements because now he could keep an eye on Tristan. He planned on not waking Tristan up to take over the watch but the darned scout appeared to know when it was time to wake up.

Tristan nudged Gawain with his foot to wake him up, he had spent the morning scouting the area and had gathered all the information Arthur required. He had spotted a stream whilst scouting a day ago. He felt like a bath and sense the weather look promising he decided to head for that stream today.

"Stop kicking me," Gawain growled like only Gawain could, which in the morning sounded even more like a growl.

"Big puss," Tristan growled back.

"Found something to eat?" Gawain pulled another rock from underneath his body.

"No."

After yet another apple for breakfast the two knights mounted their horses and headed back to the fortress. Gawain somehow felt relieved. He would have to find a good trick to get back at Lancelot for scaring him and Galahad the way he did with his tales about Tristan. Perhaps he would keep Galahad in belief of Lancelot's tales, it would be Galahad's turn next time to learn something about scouting, although Gawain was wondering what he had exactly learned from this trip.

"What you smiling about boy?" Tristan had watched with interest at the emotions that went over Gawain's face. The boy was far too easy to read. He would learn his lesson before this journey was over.

"Something Lancelot told us about you." Which Gawain of course wasn't going to repeat in the presence of Tristan.

"And what does Lancelot have to tell about me?" Tristan knew that the dark knight enjoyed scaring the younger ones of with tales of his company.

"It's best if you ask him that yourself." Gawain knew he had peaked Tristan's interest but the journey wasn't over yet.

"I'm sure I will do just that."

"Tristan I'm famished." Gawain couldn't keep his mouth shut any more; he had been hungry since waking up this morning. "Your scrawny butt is even starting to look appetizing to my stomach."

Gawain didn't like the possessive glint in Tristan's eyes when he looked at him.

"Alright let's stop and see if we can find something to eat." Tristan had counted on Gawain's stomach to start complaining about the lack of food. Of course he had found wildlife enough last night but he wanted Gawain to be the one to ask for another stop along the road. And just as he had hoped, Gawain's stomach had perfect timing, for they were only several miles from the stream Tristan had planned to bathe in.

"Why don't we both go hunting that way? There is more chance of catching something." Gawain wasn't going to go another night without food. Tristan nodded in agreement.

_Yes Gawain why don't you go crawling in the mud that only makes it easier for me to convince you to take a bath._ Tristan just managed to keep the smile from creeping onto his face.

Gawain was lying under the shrubbery waiting for a hare to pass him. _Ugh great now I'm not only cold, wet and freezing I'm also muddy. Thankfully the sun is shining today. Perhaps I can convince Tristan to stop for a bath before continuing our journey._

Gawain almost skipped towards the campfire with his catch of two hares. His stomach was very pleased with Gawain's performance as a hunter.

"Not bad," Tristan said as he munched on yet another apple.

After having eaten the two hares which had proven a very good meal the two knights continued their journey back. After a mile the mud on Gawain's face started to itch.

"There is a stream not far from here. The weather seems good enough to risk a bath," Tristan provided even before Gawain had the opportunity to complain about the mud on his face.

"You're right Tristan. The wench wouldn't have me with all this mud in my lovely hair." Gawain gave Tristan a cheeky grin.

"Why don't you bathe I'll keep my eyes open for trouble." Tristan climbed on top of a rock pretending to be on the watch.

After thoroughly rinsing his hair, Gawain moved to a more shallow area of the stream to float in the sun heated water. He allowed his mind to relax as he knew that Tristan would warn him if there was any immediate danger for him. Gawain was oblivious of the treacherous being watching his movement not far away.

Gawain yelled loudly and whacked the thing that had currently attached itself to his left buttock. He came back up from nearly drowning in the shallow water sputtering and gasping for air. He scanned the area surrounding him while his left hand reached for his bottom. To his right he spotted Tristan with a satisfied look on his face.

"Bloody Hell! You bit me!" Gawain's eyes were the size of plates as he stared at the other knight. Then realisation started to kick in. His incredulity increased as he added one and one together.

"You're the one causing those bite marks on everybody!" Gawain yelled accusingly as he tried to look at his own butt. He had always thought that it was one of the wenches that had caused those marks on his fellow knights.

"What is a bite on the butt amongst friends?" Gawain couldn't believe Tristan said that with such an airy tone to it.

"One does not go around biting other people!" Gawain was appalled to say the least.

"Well, you should try it someday. You might get a taste for it." Tristan climbed out of the water and started to dry himself with his cloak.

"That and 'I aim for the middle' is your answer to everything, isn't it?" Gawain was frantically pouring the cool water over the bite mark.

Tristan just whistled for his hawk, which landed on his left arm. "Where you been now? Where you been?"

"What if it gets infected and my buttock falls off!" Gawain was starting to feel nauseas, he had always liked his buttocks and so did the wenches at the tavern.

"Go to Dagonet." Tristran started to get dressed which was quite difficult with the bird on his arm.

"Is that before or after I hit you with my axe?" Gawain stalked out of the water and over to his horse where is axe was located.

"Then we'll never make it back to the fortress." Tristan gave Gawain one of his few smirks.

Gawain couldn't believe this sick perverted bastard. He quickly got himself dressed and wanted to get back to the fortress.

"Why hasn't anybody stopped you from doing this to others?" Gawain asked as he fidgeted in his saddle several miles from the fortress.

"You should ask them." Tristan honestly didn't know but he hoped Gawain wouldn't start warning others. Tristan smirked to himself, twenty-eight butts bitten and two more to go.

It was a custom with Tristan's tribe to mark one's territory so that others couldn't stake their claim on it. Sense Tristan didn't have ground as a territory he had settled for marking his brother's in arms as his territory, just in case one of his tribe members should arrive and get funny notions about his territory.

Several days later when Dagonet and Tristan were in the bathhouse by Arthur's orders getting cleaned up, Gawain sneaked in and tried to get into the water without the other knights noticing his new scar.

"How do you do that?" Dagonet looked at the darkening bite mark on the middle of Gawain's left buttock.

"I aim for the middle."

**The End**


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